Bill is going on a date tonight.
At first, I could not understand why this hurt me so much. After all, I have known that our marriage was over for more than three years now. I have told Bill, many times, that I am OK with him dating while we are getting ready to file for divorce, and I meant it. I have gone through the stages of grief, I have made my peace with the situation, so why this emotional response?
I’ve been thinking about it a lot this week, and finally realized that deep down inside I never believed I am worthy of being loved, because even I don’t like myself, so how can anybody else? And yet a part of me had always hoped that I was wrong. I wasn’t, and that’s why it hurts so much.