Argh

Squeeker is being a pain in the butt all day today. *sigh* Not a lot of things I can do while holding a baby on my lap all the time. I am sure I will miss these days when he is older and wants nothing to do with me, but right now I just want to scream. Perhaps I should make a new category, titled “What was I thinking??????”

[edited around 1 am on Monday] To add insult to injury… I have been complaining about Squeek not sleeping for long periods at night anymore. Well, guess who has been clonked out in his car seat for 5 hours now. Also, guess who has not gone to bed yet because she keeps expecting her baby to wake up and want to nurse? Any guesses as to who is going to be more miserable in the morning?

[added around 1:30 am] Yay, the pity party is over. I moved Squeeker to the crib, and convinced him to nurse a little. Hopefully, he will sleep for a few hours. He has an annoying cold, so I can’t really blame him for being difficult. I tried using the snot-sucker on him, but the evil snot is hiding out of reach. Every once in a while, especially at night, Squeekie would start coughing up a lung (though according to the pediatrician his lungs are clear, and a cold is all he has), and that gotta be frustrating.

For me, I think the most annoying/frustrating part is that when these breaks in routine happen (i.e., Squeek sleeping through a feeding, or taking a long nap), I rarely manage to get anything done, because I keep waiting for whatever it is should come next. I should have pumped soon after BelovedSpouse got home with DemonChild, and instead I kept waiting for Squeeker to wake up. I should pump now, since he did not nurse all that well, but it is after 1:30 and I still need to shower (which I should have done earlier, but see above about waiting for Squeek to wake up). All this is totally self-inflicted. I should stick to my schedule instead of sitting around waiting – I mean, what’s the worst that can happen? Should Squeeker wake up hungry right after I pumped, I can always give him a bottle. Of course, for some reason things like that only occur to me after I screwed up. Where is a time machine when you need one?

[final additing, 3 am on Monday] Since my chance for a good night’s sleep went to hell in a (self-made) handbasket anyway, I went ahead and pumped before I showered. Got 3.5 oz. That is not going to win me a medal in the Pumping Mothers Olympics, let me tell you. Because Squeeky has a cold, he is not nursing as well as he normally does. And because I was in training for 4 days last week, I could not pump every three hours like I normally do. Needless to say, ye olde breasts have decided to slow down on the milk-making, given such strong lack of demand signals. So, the unofficial theme for this week shall be “let the pumping commence” (the official theme is “let there be institutional research. or else.”). And on this note, off to bed I go, and who knows, there might be 4 hours of sleep in it for me. Hard to feel sorry for myself when all this is totally self-inflicted…

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