Why Yes, I Am Still Alive…


Not having a very good December so far. Had the sentinel node biopsy surgery. They removed two lymph nodes and a some flesh where the mole used to reside. Everything checked out – no cancerous cells. The most un-fun part was passing out twice the next day while attempting to throw up. Sorry for that mental image. And now my left arm hurts like a s.o.b. – hard to do anything with it, and with two kids, NOT doing anything is not an option.

Driver’s license test status: in progress. When I went for the road test December 2, they refused to accept my international driver’s license as valid (because it is in French and Russian, no English. Can’t argue with the DMV. Can’t swear at them, either.). So I got my instruction permit instead, went to a different DMV center a week later, and promptly flunked (made a wrong left-hand turn onto a boulevard; did not see it was a boulevard because the median had 10ft of snow it, but oh well. Also did not look around enough.). Going to try again this Tuesday (19th). Not holding my breath. Wonder how many tries it will take. Not looking forward to it. At least here they don’t charge you for each attempt, unlike in Russia.

First week back at work. Trying to get back into the swing of things. Missed two days already, Tuesday because of a doctor’s appt, Friday because I felt like death warmed over (I hate having a sore throat.) Not an auspicious start.

Squeeky’s first week at daycare seem to have gone OK. Because I had to pump-and-dump for two days after the surgery, I have no frozen milk supply left. They had to give him formula a couple of times, because he drank all the milk. And because his feeding schedule is back to being all over the place, I haven’t been able to start rebuilding my stash. And now the poor thing has a cold, too. Despite that, he smiles a lot more now, and coos, and looks at us. He is such a good baby most of the time.

D. is his usual active self. He also has a cold (Squeeker got his from D., I am sure), but not letting it stop him. Also not letting us wipe his nose, but fortunately we are stronger and faster and the snot gets wiped. We are so not D.’s favorite people when we do it, though. He has added more words to his repertoire (unfortunately, “no” seems to be his favorite one), and climbs everything like a little monkey. Very cute, very funny. He still wakes up in the middle of the night and cries for me, almost every night. Poor little guy.

B. killed his PS2, and loaned the X-box to a friend, so he is currently gaming-deprived. He might buy an X-Box 360 after Christmas, we’ll see.

Our new fireplace is installed. It looks very nice. We haven’t tested if it burns well, yet. Pictures to follow when I work up the energy to take them.

As for me, things have been blah. I feel depressed. I miss my parents and my grandparents. I am frustrated that I failed the road test. My arm hurts. I wish I knew where I stand with people. I don’t keep in touch with friends nearly as well as I should, and I am afraid I will lose them all, one by one. I get frustrated with the kids and with B.. In short, I am a regular bundle of joy these days. It sucks.


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